Job titles are like buzzwords these days: Some are weird, and a lot of them just make no sense. It’s like a game of job title bingo, where the words are mismatched, and the meaning is lost in translation.
In the professional jungle, job titles make you scratch your head and wonder, “What on earth does that person do?”
Let’s look at 16 weird job titles to avoid on a resume.
Chief Happiness Officer
The title “Chief Happiness Officer” might sound appealing at first glance, implying a focus on employee well-being and satisfaction. However, upon closer inspection, it lacks specificity and can appear frivolous. Without context, it’s unclear what responsibilities or skills this role entails, making it difficult for recruiters to gauge your qualifications.
Instead of using this vague title, consider emphasizing specific achievements or areas of expertise related to employee engagement and morale.
Chief Executive Officer of Everything (CEO of Everything)
This grandiose title may sound impressive, but it’s a clear sign of overconfidence or a lack of understanding about the role of a CEO. CEOs typically oversee an organization’s high-level decision-making, not every aspect of daily operations.
A CEO’s job is to lead a company or organization, making big decisions and setting strategies to keep things running smoothly. But “Everything” encompasses, well, everything! From managing finances to marketing to HR to IT – it’s just impossible for one person to handle all that effectively.
Social Media Guru
The job title “Social Media Guru” is kind of like saying you’re a “Master of the Universe” without any real proof. Sure, it sounds flashy and all, but what does it actually mean? Social media is constantly changing, with new platforms and trends popping up left and right. Claiming to be a “guru” implies you’ve got some kind of supernatural insight or magical powers when it comes to social media.
But the truth is, nobody’s got it all figured out. What works today might be obsolete tomorrow. Plus, anyone can slap that title on their LinkedIn profile without necessarily having the skills or experience to back it up. So yeah, “Social Media Guru” might look impressive on paper, but it’s about as meaningful as a rubber chicken at a board meeting.
Freelance Expert
The job title “Freelance expert” might sound fancy, but let’s break it down. First off, being a freelancer means you’re already supposed to be pretty darn good at whatever you’re offering, right? That’s the whole deal with freelancing—you’re an expert in your field, otherwise, why would anyone hire you?
So slapping “expert” on there is like saying “I’m a water specialist” when you’re already swimming in the pool.
Plus, expertise is subjective. What might make you an expert in one person’s eyes might not impress someone else. It’s like calling yourself a “professional human” – it’s kind of assumed, isn’t it? So yeah, calling yourself a “Freelance expert” is like putting icing on an already frosted cake – just unnecessary.
Idea Alchemist
This whimsical title might sound creative, but it often implies a lack of tangible results or a clear understanding of the innovation process. Plus, “idea” is such a broad term—it could mean anything from a random thought to a fully fleshed-out concept. Calling someone an “Idea Alchemist” doesn’t really tell you much about what they actually do.
It’s like slapping a fancy label on something to make it sound more important than it really is. So yeah, it’s a bit of a head-scratcher.
Growth Hacker Extraordinaire
While growth hacking is a legitimate marketing strategy, the term “extraordinaire” often suggests a lack of understanding of the complexities and limitations of growth hacking in real-world business scenarios.
Calling someone a “growth hacker extraordinaire” doesn’t really tell you anything concrete about what they actually do or what skills they bring to the table. It’s like slapping a superhero cape on someone without them having any superpowers. Companies should focus on describing roles in clear, specific terms that actually convey what the person does and what value they bring, rather than getting caught up in flashy titles that don’t mean much in the real world.
SEO Wizard
Calling someone an “SEO Wizard” might sound flashy, but it’s about as meaningful as calling someone a “unicorn whisperer.” Sure, it sounds cool, but what does it really tell you about what they do?
SEO (Search Engine Optimization) is all about helping websites rank higher on Google and other search engines. But claiming to be a “wizard” at it doesn’t really say much. Are they good at keyword research? Are they experts at optimizing content? Do they have a knack for backlink building? Without specifics, it’s just a fancy title that doesn’t give any real insight into what skills or expertise the person actually has.
So, while it might catch your eye on a business card, it doesn’t tell you much about what they can actually bring to the table.
Chief Visionary Officer
This title may seem inspirational, but it often masks the absence of specific responsibilities and the lack of a clear job description. Sure, having a vision is crucial in any business, but slapping a title on someone solely for having big ideas? That’s like giving someone a medal for breathing. Every leader should be a visionary in some sense, focused on the long-term goals and direction of the company.
While it might sound impressive on a business card, it’s more fluff than substance when you really think about it.
Ninja, Rockstar, or Jedi
Using these trendy, attention-grabbing job titles can give off an impression of immaturity or an attempt to hide a lack of substance behind flashy buzzwords. Serious professionals focus on their skills and experience rather than pop culture references.
Unicorn Hunter
In the startup world, “unicorn” refers to a company with a valuation exceeding $1 billion. A “unicorn hunter” title is often overused and may signify a lack of understanding about the rare nature of such businesses. The fact is, a lot of people wouldn’t know what this title means.
Stick to something real, specific and honest.
Director of First Impressions
While this title might sound friendly and inviting, it’s often used to mask a receptionist or front desk position. This title may not reflect the skills, qualifications, and importance of the role accurately.
Calling it a “director” role seems like a stretch. It’s like slapping a fancy label on a pretty ordinary job. Plus, it doesn’t really tell you much about what the person actually does or what skills they bring to the table. So yeah, it’s kind of meaningless.
LinkedIn Lumberjack
Referring to oneself as a “LinkedIn lumberjack” is more likely to draw amusement than professional respect. It implies a focus on superficial online connections rather than substantive networking.
Brand Evangelist
This title can suggest a lack of clear responsibilities or a propensity for excessive self-promotion. Successful brand management is about strategy, not zealotry.
Digital Nomad
Believe it or not, I’ve seen this on a resume, but it means nothing. Being a digital nomad is a lifestyle choice, not a job title. People with various jobs can lead this lifestyle, but the title itself does not describe their expertise or responsibilities.
Tech Whisperer
Describing oneself as a “tech whisperer” implies a mystical connection with technology. In reality, technology professionals rely on knowledge, experience, and problem-solving skills.
Self-Proclaimed Expert
Any title with “self-proclaimed” in it is a red flag. True experts don’t need to self-proclaim; their knowledge and experience speak for themselves.
